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Dating and Hating

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Dating, the prospect of it is both daunting and exhilarating. 

What starts out as an adrenalin rush coupled with anxiety and the urge to momentarily throw yourself out of the nearest window to avoid going, just before he arrives (just me?), soon turns into a self-sabotaging string of prolonged encounters. Of course once over with, these encounters become the latest confirmation of an apparent failure...the romantic kind... the kind that when a distant relative or family friend asks a variation on " Where's your boyfriend?", to which you begrudgingly reply "I don't have one", despite the extent of your academic achievement, recent promotion or network of meaningful platonic relationships; you get THAT special look. The one that consists of both pity and disdain. A further reminder that in this society, there must be something wrong with you if you're a seemingly attractive, intelligent, motivated young woman without a boyfriend.

Apparently, the only way to define yourself, and for others to acknowledge your complete integration into society, is by being one half of a "whole". No matter how successful you become or how contented you feel as an individual, being a single woman means you have negative social credit. What also grates me is the way in which the comment "Where's your boyfriend?" is always phrased, In a way that implies it is not entirely your decision to be single. Instead, you haven't been chosen, you've failed to attract a man...this suggests for all intents and purposes that you pretty much just fail at life.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m big on dating. I have vast experience with this concept. Now, I don't consider myself to be a girl who is a fan of "relationships". In fact, it would not be an exaggeration to say I have an inherent aversion to them. On the other hand, I choose not to engage in meaningless casual sex. Not to say that I give meaning to sex that isn't casual. This leads to the enviable position of being stuck somewhere in the middle, kind of like purgatory. Most of the ‘relationships’ I engage in, consist of a series of dates, which vary in number depending on the level of asshole I meet. Recently, after a number of failed attempts at trying to withstand the various ‘flavours’ of the week, I got to thinking what my type tends to be...and the results are as follows:

1. They love sport. I hate sport.

2. By their own admission they "Don't read books" (Borrowing your sisters copy of 'Twilight' doesn't count. Target audience=teenage girls). I love reading...in particular, material of substance. 

3. They have no dress sense whatsoever. If they play sport this will extend (if we're lucky) to a polo shirt and those awful nylon pants or jeans coupled with sneakers. I, by my own objective standards dress well, I make an effort.

4. They resemble the quintessential "jock" in most respects, including that of intellect (or lack of). I consider myself to possess an 'awareness' of global, political, religious and existential discourse.

5. They quote lines from Family Guy, Anchor Man, or any film involving the comedic stylings of Will Ferrell. For Christ's sake, you didn't write it...repeating the lines word for word does not grant you comedic license over the material. You douche.

6. They fail to comprehend the fact that I'm high strung and, even more so, I’m happy that way. If you tell me to "chill" one more time, you'll really start to fear the meaning of the words "high strung", while you’re ‘strung’ up ‘highly’ from a tall building. 

7. They become freaked out and agitated if I start to talk about a topic that bears no relation to sex, beer, sport or how laid back life should be. Excuse me? When most of the world is living in a dire state of poverty, global warming is becoming an increasingly foreboding issue and the oppression of women due to the very nature of religion should be at the forefront of conversation; you think I'm too serious? Snap, I think you're an idiot.

8. Apparently engaging with current events means I'm trying too hard to be 'smart'...I concede, veering outside the bounds of Sky sport and MTV is quite an effort. Sorry, I meant Alt TV for you quirky guys out there. 

So I know you're probably thinking, why do I go for these guys? And the answer is: I believe a man should be three things in life; Handsome, Ruthless and Stupid.

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