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Find Your Inner Ox

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Samantha Lee
Samantha Lee

Chinese New Year is upon us with The Lantern Festival kicking off next weekend.

It is essentially a fun-filled affair, where all of Auckland converges on Albert Park to eat everything on The Street of Food (Princes Street, behind Albert Park.)
Those not there with the sole purpose of expanding their waistlines can also look at the awesome martial arts displays, get their fortunes told, and watch the dragon and lion dances to kick off the festival on Friday and the fireworks to end it on Sunday.
The lanterns are a fantastic opportunity for the Most in the Doghouse half of any couples out there to warm up for Valentine’s Day, as they usually have lit lanterns hanging through all the trees in the park- tres romantique.
Those not part of any Official Coupledom should also manage to enjoy themselves- there are art exhibitions, and music, and the Other Lanterns are always very cool- in past years there have been lit lily lanterns in the fountain in the park, and monkeys climbing up the lamp posts (lanterns, not actual), and a very nice re-enactment of the Sky Tower As Lantern.
Then there is chance to overspend rigorously, as Reserve Bank Man recently told us to do- and if you feel guilty for spending money you can’t afford on things you won’t use, do a Samantha Lee Special-
1) Spend money.
2) Agonise briefly over spending money.
3) Contemplate returning item and/ or attempting to sell for $1 reserve on Trademe.
4) Become distracted by bigger, shinier item and purchase.
5) Repeat until economy is stable and recession over.
Chinese New Year also kicks off The Year of the Ox, which is especially pleasing for me, as I happen to be one.
An Ox is officially a large grass aficionado with a penchant for pulling things, however, there are several things that You, as an Ox, should know. (All other mammals need not apply.)
You are:
Born on a specific date/ year, that you can locate here, and are generally patient, hardworking, and have the ability to achieve great things. Also positive, kind, truthful and sincere, highly intelligent, articulate and eloquent.
Which is just gravy, until you get to the negatives.
Oxen (Oxes, Oxi?) are very petty, inflexible, possessive, dogmatic, gullible, stubborn, critical, intolerant, and materialistic.
But that’s okay, because we’re focusing on the positive here, and courtesy of moi through the magic of the internet and Wiki, guess which of Our Newest Favourite People happens to be an Ox?
None other than 44th-President-of-the-United-States-of-America-Mr-Barack-H.-Obama, we-live-in-Change-and-Hope-Guy!
He was born August 4th, 1961, which makes him a Leo, an Ox, and according to Wiki, an Ideal Solution to Our Problems:
“It is important to remember that the Ox people are sociable and relaxed when they feel secure, but occasionally a dark cloud looms over such people and they engage all the trials of the whole world and seek solutions for them.”
Bodes well for the future, in theory.
Go to the festival, hope you all have a great time!
What: Lantern Festival
Where: Albert Park, Auckland CBD
Deets: Feb 6-8, 5pm-10.30pm- FREE
Why: Have an Experience not Directly Related to Your Couch.

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