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Fatigue and stress are ruining our sex lives - Adult Toy Megastore

Fuseworks Media
Fuseworks Media

A new trans-Tasman sex survey had found fatigue is the number one cause of bedroom inactivity for New Zealanders and Australians.

Almost one in two respondents surveyed by UMR said their sex lives were hindered by fatigue (42% of New Zealanders and 40% of Australians). New Zealand women were the most affected followed by Australian women.

There were generational impacts too, with Gen Y and Gen X the most impacted by fatigue. Of those surveyed 51% of Gen Y respondents said lack of sleep was impacting their sex lives, followed by 46% of Gen X. Generations least affected are baby boomers (30%) and Silent gen (24%)

One third of New Zealanders and Australians said their sex lives were impacted by stress. Generation Y were again losing out at 44%.

Only 21% of Baby boomers and 14% of the silent generation said stress was taking a toll on their sex lives.

Gen Z (48%) and Gen Y (47%) respondents also said they didn't have enough time to have as much sex as they wanted.

Head of Customer Satisfaction at Adulttoymegastore Emma Hewitt says finding the time to have sex when you're not tired and you're not stressed is absolutely key to having great sex. Having a different libido to your partner was another challenge, she said.

"Our survey found 29% of New Zealanders and Australians believe having a different libido to their partners is hindering their sex lives. Those difference impact women at 30% more than men at 28% and they hit Gen X the most. Gen Z were the least likely to have libido differences with only 17%. Gen Z men in particular had only 7% report a difference."

Hewitt says the key to working out libido differences and get back to having a healthy sex life is to be open and honest with each other.

"It's important to just tell the truth. If your relationship is important to you, you must be able to be vulnerable with each other and share without judgement. Talk about your needs, not just with sex but with intimacy too. Talk about masturbation, how often you'd ideally like to be intimate, and what sexual activity works best for you. It's never too late to have the conversation."

71% of New Zealanders need to schedule sex

Want sex? Make an appointment, say New Zealanders. Of those we surveyed, two in three New Zealanders (71%) have to schedule sex with their partner. And 68% of Aussies do.

Sex schedulers are more likely to be baby boomers (76%), and Generation Y are least likely to need to schedule sex (63%).

New Zealand men less confident in the bedroom

Australians are edging out New Zealanders in being confident in their abilities in the bedroom. Just 21% of New Zealanders said they felt confident compared to 27% of Australians.

Australian women are the most confident (31%) compared with 27% of New Zealand women. While 24% of Aussie men are confident in their sexual performance, compared with only 15% of kiwi men!

Gen X men (17%) are the least confident in the bedroom, while men from the Silent Generation (36%) are the most confident.

Silent Generation women are the most confident in the bedroom (50%), followed by the younger women from Gen Z (40%).

Adulttoymegastore commissioned UMR to carry out this 2020 sex survey. UMR offers clients an extensive quantitative research suite covering telephone, online, and face-to-face collection. This survey covered 2500 respondents handpicked by UMR to cover age, gender and region in Australia and New Zealand.

Of the survey respondents:

- 42% were married

- 27% were single

- 15% were in a committed relationship and living together

- 7% were in a committed relationship and not living together

- 3% were recently divorced or separated

- 3% were widowers

- 1% were engaged

- less than 1% were polyamorous

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