amBITCHous: (def.) A Woman Who: 1. Makes more money 2. has more power 3. gets the recognition she deserves 4. has the determination to go after her dreams and can do it with integrity. - Debra Condren.
Through
my Little Pink Book contacts, I have learnt all about how to be an amBITCHous woman in the work place. But I’m not so sure I like it.
Written by Debra Condren, “
Am-BITCH-ous” assures readers that all of our priorities in life - personal and professional - can be achieved harmoniously, “without the fear that you risk sacrificing your desire to have a full, happy personal life and without being afraid that you’ll be less of a woman.” As much as I admire Debra for writing this book, why did she still have to label us bitches for being ambitious? If she just wanted to show off that she thought of a clever word, she could have always settled for something like… mojitovated. Which is to be motivated by mojitos. Which I am.
Sure, literature has come a long way since the “The Good Wife’s Guide” (published in “Housekeeping Monthly” on May 13th, 1955) helpfully informed young wives that (among other classics) “A good wife always knows her place.” But women are still apparently being held back in the workplace, not necessarily by men, but by ourselves. Why write a book to try and convince women that ambition is not a dirty word, and then call us bitches for seeking it?
Interestingly, “Customers Who Brought This Item Also Brought”: “Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office”, “Nice Girls Don‘t Get Rich“, “Seducing the Boys Club”, “The Corporate Dominatrix” and “The Art of War for Women.” These type of women scare the crap out of me.
I work hard, consider myself successful, and have recently been offered a fabulous new job as a result - all enabling me to achieve points 1,2,3, and 4 of the amBITCHous definition… without actually being a bitch. Of course some people may feel resentful when they see you moving up the career ladder and unfortunately, there will never be a shortage of sleazy men in the world, trying to have a go - usually more as a reflection of their own ego than an actual desire to do any harm - (I`m not saying that serious sexual harassment or abuse doesn't happen.) But probably most girls have experienced worse male ego and peacocking at a club on a Saturday night during a god dam Bryan Adams song. You either let it get to you or you shake it off and move on, knowing that you are moving up in the world, while they are only getting older, dirtier and less capable of getting it up. (For the record, I usually steer well clear of any clubs that play Bryan Adams… specifically the Summer of 69. I recommend dirty rock concerts, death metal or punk - the better the music is, the less likely you are to be molested by some Hallensteins shirt wearing guy with bad hair gel. Ew).
So why do women feel the need to assert themselves as "The Corporate Dominatrix"? Why the drama and the agro? Am I just being naive? Do I really have to be a bitch to smash through that glass ceiling? Does my ambition have to even be defined by money and power? "Nice Girls Don't Get Rich"? I just think that's bitch-speak.
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Comments
Hey Dallas, from Debra. I
Hey Dallas, from Debra.
I love your word mojitovated. I think you should snag the URL (said in all seriousness).
Re: “Am-BITCH-ous” assures readers that all of our priorities in life - personal and professional - can be achieved harmoniously, “without the fear that you risk sacrificing your desire to have a full, happy personal life and without being afraid that you’ll be less of a woman.” As much as I admire Debra for writing this book, why did she still have to label us bitches for being ambitious?"
My message is exactly the opposite, i.e., though society labels ambitious women bitches, we women should reclaim our ambition as a virtue, not a dirty word.
To your point, the title of my book (hardcover edition) was misunderstood by some; so I / my publisher retitled the paperback edition to clarify, i.e.: Ambition Is Not A Dirty Word: A Woman's Guide to Earning Her Worth and Achieving Her Dreams (Random House/Broadway Books). Exact same book, different title. (See: http://tinyurl.com/y8edeqg.)
I definitely believe and advocate that we needn't be bitches or the corporate dominatrix.
We do owe it to ourselves, to our children -- and the world -- to make the contribution we were born to make (according to our own individual sensibilities, passions, and ambition; no one else can tell us what our correct path is). The world deserves to hear from us.
The poet Muriel Rukeyser nailed it when she wrote:
"What would happen if one woman told the truth about her life?
The world would split open."
It's important that we keep talking, sharing our stories, wisdom, and our points of view.
Thank you, Dallas, for keeping the conversation going.
Sincerely and ambitiously,
Debra Condren
www.AmbitionIsNotADirtyWord.com
(and I, too, enjoy being mojitovated!)
P.S.: I would love to send you a review copy. E-mail me via my website and I will do just that.
Hi Debra... thanks for your
Hi Debra... thanks for your comment!
I agree with you that ambition is not a dirty word and you are right, we do need to keep the conversation going. Thanks for explaining the misunderstanding - I like your message and think it's an important one!
the more women on top the
the more women on top the better, i for one think that women should be leading us all in this crazy world. they are more intune with the energies of the world and the energies of the heavens above.men on the other hand only listen to their minds not their hearts. they have only 2 ambitions in life; 1st is to best the best and 2nd to bed the best.
keep going Dallas you are doing great and listen to your heart and the energies around you.
thumbs up girl
Thanks Robin!
Thanks Robin!
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