Antipodes: The Ingenious and Exhilarating Expedition of El Lider and La Campana

Antipodes: The Ingenious and Exhilarating Expedition of El Lider and La Campana. By Mark Price. Longacre Press. RRP $34.99.

'When he was young, he travelled much. And when he finally returned to NZ, he had many tales to share. If anyone asked. Which no one ever did.' Thus it is that we meet El Lider on the eve of his travel epiphany. Life has continued on from those heady days of adventure - but he is standing still, or sitting still rather with an unfulfilled yearning for adventure, until one evening; reclining exhausted at the end of an office-job-day, there it was: The Idea. Many of the best expedition schemes already taken, (finding the source of the Nile, that sort of thing) this was yet unique and perfect because it was so simple. He would explore the antipodes of NZ.

The thrill of this rippled him such that, 'He lay back on the couch and noticed that he had missed the sports news.' So begins an epic-ish tale of vision and single-mindedness, a quest without rules (apart from the one about not drinking his own urine). Digging out an old globe, El Lider blows it up and puts one finger on Wellington and one on the other side of the globe. NZ's antipodes seemed to be somewhere in Spain. How many people knew that? Not many, if any. An expedition name proffered itself, A Journey to the Ends of the Earth.

Mark Price (El Lider) and his wife, the stalwart, parsimonious La Campana first travel the happy isles of NZ making a list of Perfect Places, then cross the equator in search of each sweet spot's Spanish antipodes. Charmingly reversing our notion of the 'Antipodes,' (a word oft used smugly by the English to denote a place of ill or little repute) the voyage achieves what none other has: an actual map of New Zealand's antipodes, crafted with the help of Brian Grant at the School of Surveying, University of Otago. With a wonderful narrative voice as pithy as the pithiest helmet, Mark Price's book is immensely readable. I laughed out loud, unfortunately frightening my cat, Mr Puck.

Personal Best Bit. Finding themselves in the antipodes of Wellington North, the conquistadors learn they are close to the town of Alaeios, in the province of the city of Valladolid¾once the capital of the Kingdom of Spain, the very place where Christopher Columbus died in 1506 and where Cervantes first published El Ingenioso Hildalgo Don Quijote de la Mancha in 1605. Poking the most excellent fun at pretentious travel writers who exhaustively sample each and every bull's testicle and lard sandwich to come their way, 'El Lider could think of no actual reason to go there.'

Q&A with Mark Price

1. How would you describe Antipodes?

The idea of searching for New Zealand's antipodes sounded like a bit of fun but I had the feeling that a serious book on the subject could easily be sleep inducing. Then, while crawling out of a black bog somewhere in Marlborough, I remembered the misadventures of Jerome K. Jerome and his friends in Three Men in a Boat. It had some of the funniest pieces of writing I have read. At that point, I began taking more careful note of the things that went wrong with our 'expedition' and began wondering why books about expeditions never seemed to contain any humour. I would describe Antipodes as an antidote to the seriousness of everyday human endeavour. Designed for reading in a hammock.

2. Do you expect to explore other countries in a similarly innovative way with a view to future books?

I have searched google earth extensively to find more interesting antipodes. Unfortunately, I have failed.

My wife and I have, however, cycled the approximate antipodes of state highway 1 - "upside down and backwards'' so to speak - from Tarifa on the south coast of Spain, which is opposite Braigh, north of Auckland, to a point on the north coast of Spain, opposite the Rakaia River, in South Canterbury. We think not many people have done that.

3.Which part of the journey was the most interesting to you?

We spent most of our time in the Spanish countryside, and just loved it. Spain might be known for its mediterranean tourist spots but, in spring, its massive interior is a fabulous, warm, colourful tourist-free zone. Try Ronda (opposite Auckland) for starters. And, of course the plains and towns of La Mancha (opposite Hawkes Bay).

4.What are you reading right now?

The Otago Daily Times, mostly, but also a very heavy-going manual on how Spanish politics work. It is quite amazing that so many disparate political and ethnic groups can co-exist in one state. I have a book on the Spanish Inquisition to read when the politics becomes too hard going.

5. NZ author/s that you would name as influences?

I grew up reading comics hidden inside text books - none by New Zealanders as I recall. I loved the simplicity and humour of Barry Crump books but in terms of writing, my influences are from tv - Mr Ed (bet u don't remember him), M.A.S.H., Dad's Army, Morecombe and Wise, Seinfeld, Monty Python and of course One News and Three News.

6.What does New Zealand Book Month mean to you?

Nothing really. Sorry.

Antipodes by Mark Price. Following in the footsteps of Hilary, without tripping over discarded oxygen canisters.

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