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Back To The Office

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Paul Taylor
Paul Taylor

Returning to an office job is like returning to a circus job, the antics of office employees are of the verbal acrobatic kind, not the physical kind. The office clowns should wear zany make-up and a bright fuzzy wig but they don't. And the office animals are of the pig variety not the elephant variety because pigs forget things - mainly the fact they've already eaten, and pigs smell.

Yes, after two long years and a couple of trips overseas I have succumb to the demands of money and me having none and have gone out and got me a job! In an office! A brand new office environment. To be fair though, my new place of employment is a newspaper for a small regional town. Nice, huh? No, I'm not a reporter although I do have the experience and almost a whole uni degree, I'm selling advertising which should be pretty easy since the town is so small and the paper I work for is the region's only daily. 

It was a few years ago I resigned myself from office work in the hope that my career, which I can further from home, would further itself. But, being home all day coupled with little to no real motivation, it seemed the money I was planning on earning from my furthered career would be here by now and I'd be all sorted, financially. But no, it didn't happen so here I am in a suit and tie ready to look down on myself for dressing in such a style that screams “try-hard wanker”, it's their style, them, over there in the office, not mine.

Working in a daily newspaper is quite eye opening and rather interesting. It's not the Hollywood experience where people are rushing around to each other's desks to the tune of constantly ringing phones, perhaps because where I work no real news happens. Sure, there are drug busts and drink driving blitzes around the area but no real news of mass importance breaks. 

I wonder what the reporters do all day apart from visit the local law courts for the rounds. The law court rounds would be rather interesting because the townspeople have a habit of getting into bits of small trouble; drink driving offences, domestic violence offences, drug offences and child custody battles, you know, the usual petty offences. There is a big problem around the region and neighbouring regions about drunken violence during the weekend which always takes up column space but that's not real news. 

Being the new guy in the office is always hard and it never gets any easier, like a high-wire guy taking his first step on the rope night after night, and much like the high-wire guy, I have a safety net below should I fall, it's called the Dole. Heck, I forgot! I get more money now I'm working, hmmm. Maybe it'll be enough to pay my court-ordered fine for drink driving. I hope the reporters don't recognise me from court.

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