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Confrontation: Officially Useless

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Contributor:
Samantha Lee
Samantha Lee

This week of social experimentation turned out some interesting results.

Apparently, we all have the right to do exactly what we want, when we want, because we can.

There is no other reasoning that comes into this, no consideration of others and slim to none input from the Morals and Ethics Contingent of brain cells.

Nope. Do what you want. It’s fine. Not a freaking problem.

Any regular readers (ha) know that I like to rant on occasion. On my little information page it says I yell with apparent frequency at my karaoke-singing next door neighbour.

This is not strictly true, as this happened once, maybe twice, and “yelling” here can be read as “banging a couple times on the bathroom wall.”

But this week I actually yelled, as recently I’ve been trying the direct-confrontation-is-better-on-the-whole-for-the-stress-related-stomach-acid-issues” method. 

This is how it went down.

On Monday, my neighbour decided it was a fantastic idea to play techno (techno?!) at top volume for most of the evening. I ventured outside my apartment at 11pm and knocked loudly on the door. The music went off. I knocked again. The door didn’t open and the music stayed off. Satisfied I must be a lot more intimidating than previous self-perceptions would indicate, I went back inside and went to sleep.

On Tuesday, it was bad karaoke night. My neighbour would, in the nicest way possible, never, ever, ever make it even to the car park of New Zealand Idol auditions. He cannot sing. He also cannot sing an entire song, so coming through the wall you get “Why don’t you...I just can’t...This is my...I am yours...I just don’t know...Now I know”, which sounds like he’s having a bipolar argument with himself solely through the medium of song.

I let him get to 12 this time, before going out and knocking. The music went off. I went back in. I went to sleep. The music started again at 2am, because that’s the best time for karaoke. I banged on the wall. The music went off. I thought about hiring a hit man for a while, and then went to sleep.

On Wednesday, I actually had a music free evening, but still went to sleep thinking the music was going to start any minute (you know how you listen, and at every little sound you’re poised to start getting righteously pissed off?) The neighbour, it turns out, wasn’t home. He came home at 3am and slammed his door, so instead of music I just woke up thinking someone was trying my door. That’s fine. No problem.

On Thursday, I had hip hop night. I went out in my bright blue pyjamas and fluffy uggs and hammered on the door, saying “Hello?”, in not so much the tone of voice you use going “Hello? You’ve managed to wake me up at 4am with your complete disregard for the fact I have work in 3 hours and I. Am. Mad.”

No, it was more the one used when saying “I mean, hello, he was wearing plaid with florescent green? Who does that?” In my defence, I was under pressure.

The door opened, and I was faced with this skinny guy shorter than I am (which, let’s face it is shorter than most of the guys in Snow White.) I basically said something about how I was working and he, clearly, did not, and therefore did he think he could possibly shut up at a time when normal people where trying to sleep? He nodded, said okay, and shut the door in my face. The music went off. 

On Friday, the music started at 3am again. I sent the building manager.

I haven’t had any trouble since, but seriously, what is wrong with people? I’m lumping my neighbour in with people who leave clothes on the ground in retail stores instead of putting them on the shelf; people who don’t have their cash ready, or know what they want to order when they’ve been standing in front of you in line for ten freaking minutes; people who abuse others because they “feel like it”; people who think it’s a great idea to stroll down a busy street smoking; girls who use their boyfriends as their personal stylists (“But honey, do you think I look good in this?”); guys who think buying you a drink will get them into your pants as soon as the drink is consumed; people who believe it is their sole purpose in life to shop in a store at three minutes past closing despite the fact they’ve been told eight times the store is closing shortly; people who think it’s everybody else’s job to take care of their five kids when on public transport.

You people- you’re on my list. The list is useless because you’re not going to learn anything by being on it, and I’m not going to say anything to you in person. Nope. You’ll just keep doing what you do, and I’ll keep doing what I do- staying silent, thinking silently and probably wishfully about the effects of karma, and blogging about it where other people that don’t really care will read it.

Or, failing that, I’ll accidentally leave my stereo on at full volume when I’m out of town this week.

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