Recommended NZ | Guide to Money | Gimme: Competitions - Giveaways

Dating and Children - A Couple Of Key Rules You Should Know

Contributor:
Rosie Bowie
Rosie Bowie

Dating when you’re older can be complicated by kids.  In the midst of establishing an exciting new relationship and issue arises for dating parents as to how and when to say something to their children.  This can be a ‘dating breaker’ too, if not handled properly.

 You need to be totally open and honest here, with both your new partner and your children.  I’ve seen a number of promising relationships break down because one of the partners has simply not handled the ‘kids issue’ well.   In fairness to everyone you need to know exactly what your intentions are.  If your relationship is casual and not going anywhere then you run the risk of hurting your children should they become attached to your current partner.  
 
Another separation, if that is what you have been through, could be as painful for them as the original separation or divorce so be careful and don’t go through the ‘formality’ of introducing your children unless you’re committed to the relationship and can see yourselves being part of one family.
 
When talking to the children you need to also make sure you’re reinforcing your commitment to them, too.  It’s very easy in those emotionally-charged, excited days when you have a new relationship to overlook that the children are seeking security and commitment also.  They want to know how they will fit in and you need to make sure there will be room for them in the new setup.  
 
One of the greatest fears for children is the fear of abandonment.  You therefore have to make two commitments: one to your new partner and one to your children.  Make sure you perform both so that the new family unit gets off on the right foot.
 
If you seek dating advice, don't hesitate to email me at Matchcompany.co.nz  - just email rb@matchcompany.co.nz

All articles and comments on Voxy.co.nz have been submitted by our community of users. Please notify us if you believe an item on this site breaches our community guidelines.