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Halloween and Guy Fawkes Are Coming - How To Keep Onside With Me!

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Contributor:
Chris Ford
Chris Ford

At the end of this month, the silly season well and truly begins with first Halloween and then Guy Fawkes - therefore the nights of October 31st and November 5th are viewed by some people as good excuses to either stay indoors and/or not open the door to strangers!

These two celebratory nights are just great for kids and those who would like to think that they are kids (i.e., adults). During last year's Halloween, I was visited for the first time ever by a group of trick or treaters who weren't kids but actually half-pissed adults. Luckily enough, I had some friends down that weekend who were staying and they answered  the door and, on my behalf, offered them a generous amount of my precious chocolate supply. After they were satisfied, off they went on their merry, half-munted way to the next house in my neighbourhood. In fact, I had two seperate trick or treat visits that night as the second group of inebriated adults arrived at midnight when we were all going to bed. At that point, one of my mates told them all to piss off.

Oh, the joys of Halloween!

This year, I pledge that I'm going to be ready for trick and treaters. I will be stocking up my chocolate supply (as I just love the stuff) to be able to give out to anyone who calls. And this year, of course, the frightful night will fall on a Saturday and this will attract (yet again) more adult trick or treaters out into the streets.

So, to forewarn all potential readers in the Dunedin area who intend to engage in a bit of trick or treating, here are my plans to deal with you:

1.) If you have kids (or are one) then I will treat you kindly with some lollies and chocolate. After all, it's really a night for kids (and I hope that any who are out there will be well supervised by accompanying adults too for safety reasons.) After all, I have my own nieces and nephew in Sydney and I think they will be indulging in a bit of trick or treating as well.

2.) For any adults who show up, I will be tolerant. If no kids show up to take away my treats, you might be given some. If I've run out, then it will all be down to a display of impromptu dancing by Millie the Cat which will constitute my trick for the evening.

3.) If it's after midnight, well, it will most likely be adults. Therefore, be warned in that if you have been drinking, I may come to the door and tell you to piss off but not before being forced to surrender a portion of your booze to me for waking me up (and if it's Speight's, then all the better!) Or, even better, I might not answer the door and you can go and annoy the neighbours instead. Or if you are truly annoying, I will set my ferocious cat Millie upon you!

After that, there's the dangers of Guy Fawkes night to negotiate. While I applaud the original Fawkes for trying to challenge the political establishment of 17th century Britain through trying to blow up the House of Commons and, also, while I really like the amateur backyard displays, the night itself can be a bit dodgy. Indeed, the celebration of Mr Fawkes' efforts often begins many days beforehand and often at about 11pm at night when I'm trying to get some sleep.

At the weekends, I'm prepared to tolerate a bit of after hours noise all in the cause of having a bit of fun but not during weekdays. What's important to note is that, unlike Halloween, Guy Fawkes Night falls on a Thursday this year and if the weather's fine, then every person will be out until fairly late celebrating. No doubt the revelry will continue into the weekend as well and perhaps up until Christmas as it does in my neighbourhood.

This year, I'm thinking of doing one thing. If somebody lets off fireworks on a week night (with the only exception of Guy Fawke's night and the weekend following), then I might be tempted to call noise control.

Despite sounding like a grumpy old grandad, have a great time at both Halloween and Guy Fawke's but just remember to respect other people too and we'll all have a good time!

 

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