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The Homosexuals Will Save The World

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Paul Taylor
Paul Taylor

Of all the problems in the world there's at least one that can be fixed by the gays out there, and all they have to do is whatever it is they do. I'm not talking cutting hair or reporting on celebrities, I'm talking not procreating. 

There are countless people starving and dying of disease everyday while the Earth's resources are slowly dwindling leaving little for future generations.  The current economic crisis means there are going to be more unemployed people than normal. Great, more bogans with their bogan problems and bogan excuses. The long term unemployed bogan contingent will now say “Aww, I caint get a bloody job 'coz of da ecomonic problem.  Where's me dole?” But I digress.

Right. The world is over populated. Infrastructure is constantly being built while health, welfare and education services are struggling to keep up. Child-care services are chockas. 

This is where the gays come into it. They don't breed. Mother Nature has had enough and isn't going to take it anymore, so she's birthing more gays in the hope of curtailing an over populated earth. I say Mother Nature is doing it because as far as I can tell, people don't opt to be gay. And I don't want to anger anyone by saying God created gays, because God created man in his own image and if God did create gays, then God is gay. Now, look around the 'trendy' areas. Gays everywhere. It's already started.  And don't give me that whole “it's culturally acceptable to be gay now more than ever” because I won't buy it. 

What I'm saying is that the more gays we have on the planet, the better we'll all be for it because we'll have less people around in the future. The less people we have means less reliance on dwindling resources, it'll be easier to find a car park, less children clogging up shopping isles during school holidays and less idiots in general.

There is a downside though. Hundreds of failing hair salons, a media focussed totally on celebrities and lots of complaining.

People always want to see the world change in their lifetime. Some people wanted to see a black man become president, some wanted to see some giant towers fall, some want to see the death of Tom Cruise. Me? I want to see a gay man run a country and create fragrances at the same time.

If you have any gay friends, may I suggest you give them a pat on the back and thank them for not wanting to procreate. If you have a gay friend who wants to IVF up a kid, then they're liars. Gays with kids is just not natural. The gays will save us all, and the earth for future generations, they'll halt the population and give a better quality of life to those who are around, all without having to do anything. The more gay people now, the less people in the future and less problems with the world all-round. Heterosexual people have the problem with wanting kids, then wanting their kids to have kids and so forth. I have a friend who is pregnant, well, not him, his girlfriend, and I betchya it'll be a gay.

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