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I Love You, Have A Cookie

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Contributor:
Dallas Boyd
Dallas Boyd

If there’s one true way to max out on endorphins, it’s the love/food combo. Love affects what we eat, the way we eat, and when we eat… for better or worse. Affection has never tasted so good.

I am in love. And it was love at first sight. He turned up on my doorstep, skin and bones, an elderly, whiskery, toothy, street dog, covered in ticks, and with weeping sores that wouldn’t heal. I took one look at his big eyes and even bigger ears, and I was gone. Luckily the attraction between us was mutual. I immediately set about trying to fatten him up. This process has gone something along the lines of (me crooning): “WELL, I SUPPOOOOSE I can pop down to the shop and buy you some delicious sausages!!!” And he’s all like, “You know how I like my sausages!!” or sometimes “no prob, I’ll just wait here and lick my balls.”
 
Perhaps this behaviour of mine stems from the way my Dad used to feed our chook. He’d lovingly named her “Hettie” (I imagine because she was a hen) and every morning he used to slather about 6 inches of butter on a piece of bread for her to eat. Come to think of it, she probably died of heart failure. Anyway, every morning he’d call to her at the top of his lungs (like an old banshee) -“BOOK BOOK BOOK BOOK BOOK!” This altruistic behaviour also extended to feeding hedgehogs in the middle of the night bowls of warm milk, as well as plying my brothers and I with lollies and (so as not to corrupt us completely) “hiding” them in places he knew we’d look. 
 
If you’re in a relationship with someone (human), then maybe you’re in the same boat. As well as being called sickening pet names, like Sugar, Honey, Poptart, or Cream Puff, the chances are your lover may also be feeding (or “nurturing”) you with sugar, honey, poptarts, and cream puffs. This is not necessarily a bad thing, unless of course, you are starting to look like a cream puff. 
 
At “Female Aphrodisiac Info” (www.female-aphrodisiac-info.com/endorphins.html) I read the “sugar rush” is caused by the body releasing endorphins and dopamine when we eat sweet foods. Most people know this. Endorphins are also released during sex… most people who’ve had sex probably know this too (http://people.howstuffworks.com/love7.htm.) 
 
At www.chocolate.org, I read that one study suggested eating dark chocolate was more rewarding than passionate kissing. So I guess I makes sense to kiss passionately while eating dark chocolate. (Apparently this study needs further research, so feel free to replicate it at home and report back to me with the results, I’d be interested to hear how it goes.)
 
Chocolate apparently arouses similar sensations to falling in love, so seducing people with chocolate appears to be a reasonable tactic. It’s probably cheaper than trying to get someone drunk, and if you eat too much chocolate, at least you won’t pass out, wet the bed, and wake up next to someone weird with memory loss. (Well, I dunno, maybe that needs further research too… again, get back to me on that one). 
 
I’ve noticed my dog has started putting on weight and is looking a little less like Skeletor each day. No doubt the worm tablet helped, but I imagine the amount of sausages I’ve been letting him inhale has probably got something to do with it. However, I’m going to have to tone down on the “sweets for my sweet” or he’s going to look like a sausage himself. But I guess that’s the trouble with finding a sweet-tooth in a sweetheart. 
 

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