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Men and Dating: The "Don't Do's" of Dating For Men

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Contributor:
Rosie Bowie
Rosie Bowie
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I am frequently confronted at Matchcompany by the problem of men who are hesitant about dating,
or who simply have a reticence when it comes to dating.

So, are men actually that much different to women when it comes to dating?

The answer is 'yes', they are.  And one of the things I have learnt is that you most certainly do not need to be rich, handsome and fulfil all the traditional criteria to  be successful on the dating scene.

In fact, you may have noticed that there are probably more average and relatively unattractive men with beautiful women than there are the opposite.  

The fact is that women are attracted to certain qualities OTHER than just looks, money and the superficial stuff.  They look for certain qualities about men and how men make THEM feel.

If you can make them feel good about themselves and 'read them' properly in terms of what they're saying, their body language and their interests, then you are much more likely to be successful in establishing a relationship.

My own interest is in longer term relationships rather than casual dating, but there are
some definate 'no nos' when it comes to trying to cement a longer term (or shorter term, I would suggest) relationship.  

For instance:  You DON'T go sending a dozen roses every other day.  You DON'T go getting all heavy and meaningful.  You DON'T ring constantly and apply pressure.  You DON'T have to buy their appreciation.

One of the worst things guys do, in particular, is to try too hard.  They simply want their dating partner to like them and while we all want people to like us this can, particularly early in the 'dating cycle', be disastrous.  You really need to be able to 'read' your date and not envelope them in a lot of stuff that you think will impress or amuse them.

Paying attention to little things like what your partner talks about, what her interests are and what sort of person she is will be your key to success.  This means doing the one thing that many men (and a lot of women too) don't do:  LISTEN.  Take your cue from your date as to what she is interested in, rather than providing an avalanche of detail about what you are, what you do, who you are etc.  

I cannot count the number of women who have told me about men who have simply tried too hard.

Dating successfully involves something of a balancing act between showing that you're an interesting, engaging person on the one hand, but displaying interest and empathy on the other.

"Reading" them, and listening to them are two of the most important things you can do to make yourself sucessful on the dating scene.  We can help with some of the key tips that men in particular often overlook.  It may not be rocket science, but there is a science as well as an art to successful dating.  And men, more than women, need extra coaching. 

Don't hestitate to contact me at Matchcompany if you want to talk about any of these issues.

 

 

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