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New Zealand Dating For Men - How Can You Attract Women Successfully?

Rosie Bowie
Rosie Bowie

I'm often asked by male clients who may have been on the New Zealand dating scene for a long time, "how do men attract women"?  It's a fair enough question and one that's asked more frequently than almost any other.

The answer?  Well, first, there is no easy or silver bullet solution for how men can attract women but there are some key steps I believe any male looking to be attractive to women should take.

So, step one.  Be confident.  You certainly don't need great looks or a great car or any other such 'attribute', but if you have confidence you can radiate that and it can be enormously attractive.

But here's the warning:  don't be cocky and 'smart'.  Don't over-do it. 

To radiate confidence in NZ dating requires some calibration between being attractively confident and over-confident.  One way you can do this is through body language, not just the words you speak.  I really mean it when I say that you need to do simple things like tilting the head as someone is talking, showing that you are really listening.

Take a hint from Bill Clinton's book - NO, I don't mean by doing everything he did! - and make the woman you're talking to feel like they are the only person in the world.  Believe me when I say that Bill Clinton has body language and charisma oozing from his shoes!

Don't appear whimpy, but use some hand gestures as you speak, but in a non-threatening way.

And smile.  To smile is worth a thousand words, believe me.  It shows you're happy and is the universal sign of friendliness.  But don't make it forced or cheesy.

Second step - look smart.  Don't dress like a slob and expect to pick women up, unless you're Brad Pitt.  The fact is you need to make yourself look the part, but again - don't overdo it.

And you should use the right colours that suit you.  Blue is safe and according to some experts it will work to make you someone who can be trusted and attractive to women.

Similarly, red is the colour of power and sex and it adds some degree of excitement to who you are.  So again, don't overdo it but look smart and avoid looking dowdy and dull.

And looking smart also means 'smelling nice', so make sure you're using some good scent.  Many studies have shown scents such as cinammon and vanilla are highly attractive to women and can even act as an aphrosdiac.  You need to take some of that information with a small pinch of salt, but scent can be highly attractive and you should use that to ensure you're attracting the opposite sex at an important level of communication:  scent.

Third step - be interesting.  No-one wants to talk with someone who's boring and dull, so make sure you actually have something to talk about.

You may be wondering will, 'what, exactly?'  You don't have particular interests or an interesting job.  You don't have anything special that excites you.  Well, find it!  

There's always something out there that you can find that's interesting, challenging, exciting and will fascinate someone.  So when you're talking with a woman you need to first listen, then respond by following up with something that you know she's likely to be interested in.

The New Zealand dating scene is like any other dating scene to the extent that it requires the use of some 'fundamentals'.  Good appearance, good body language and good conversation.  You can upskill in the conversation stakes easily by practising.  Develop new interests.  Learn some things that you can practise and develop.

Try these steps and you will certainly find you will be making yourselves more attractive to women.

And if you want to talk with me about NZ dating or how to date women or any other, entirely no obligation discussion then please call me through the website at

Happy NZ dating.

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