Recommended NZ | Guide to Money | Gimme: Competitions - Giveaways

Passive Aggressive, Much?

Read More:
Contributor:
Samantha Lee
Samantha Lee

I think I’m fairly passive aggressive.

For instance, I’d much rather write about how Mediaworks destroyed my mornings  than go to their offices, get barred sixteen times trying to get in to yell at someone, and reduce myself to yelling at the receptionist and/or water cooler. 

Is the pen mightier than the sword? Do people write angry notes, say “it’s fine” when they really mean “I’d like to bash you over the head with the toilet seat cover you left up eighteen consecutive times”, and otherwise behave text-book passive aggressively as a form of non-violent protest? Or is it fear of full-blown, “I have to actually have an opinion and fight for it” confrontation?

I don’t know.

I tend to be straight up with people I don’t know well (lucky them), but the people I’m closest to I tend to watch what I say or “let things go”, because I don’t want to offend them. The kicker is when you keep letting it go, you get more and more resentful that somehow they haven’t yet managed to read your mind, and start behaving differently around them anyway.

Searching for tips on how to approach a problem non-verbally, I found, possibly, it’s better to have it out face to face, because what you’re writing can be a lot worse.

Here are my favourite passive aggressive notes :

To the individual whom stole the hotpockets!

They did not belong to you!

By you consuming said hotpockets, you have committed a theft! This shall not be tolerated!”

Note the excessive use of exclamation marks, and full marks for suppressing obvious rage with the use of “whom” and “shall not.” Cue Gandalf on the mountain “You...shall not...have thine hotpockets!” Maybe not.

“Please refrain from leaving piles of work and/or random things on my chair when I’m away!

-It makes me want to poke my eyes out!!!!

This person deeply scares me, not only because of the threat of removing their eyeballs, but because of the little love heart at the bottom. “I want to harm myself due to your crap housekeeping, but I love you anyway”?

"A: I am VERY hurt

B: about...?

A: You chose the one formal picture which I am not in...are you destroying our friendship?

B: Oh, A, it’s the one picture where i’m smiling and i’m not just a head poking up from behind a wall of taller people.

A: No worries, I was just teasing! You looking pretty is clearly more important than our friendship! Jokes, again!"

Translation: I am going to kill you in your sleep.

“TO THE BUDDING VAN GOGH OF THE FLOOR.

IF I CATCH YOU DOODLING ON OUR PHOTO IT WILL NOT BE YOUR EAR I WILL CUT. COME AND SEE ME! LOVE JESSIE X8063.”

This one I like. Straight, to the point, funny, and more importantly a name and invitation to continue the discussion.

So passive agressivity might have its downfalls, but when used correctly can be an effective tool to get the confrontation done “nicely”?

What about this one, posted on a bulliten board:

“VEGAN?

Vegan, vegetarian or vegan-curious? Casual, nonjudgemental support & opportunities to connect! Monthly meetings within the community. Join now!”

And right next to it:

“CARNIVORE?

Chances are you don’t need some wimpy support group. Keep being AWESOME!”

You decide. And if you could stop leaving without making a comment, that would be great. Or not. Not like I’m too worried. Your choice. But if you could that would be fantastic...

All articles and comments on Voxy.co.nz have been submitted by our community of users. Please notify us through our contact form if you believe an item on this site breaches our community guidelines.