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The Positives Of Cigarette Smoking

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Contributor:
Paul Taylor
Paul Taylor

Blamed for causing cancer and other ailments, the humble cigarette has been outlawed for some time. It cannot be lit inside pubs clubs or bars and bus and train stations don't want them lit under shelter. Us poor smokers have to brave the wind, rain and sleet for a cigarette as we are discriminated against for our passion for cigarettes and I for one, am damn sick of it. So, I'm here to advocate the positives of cigarettes.

-Had a nice meal? Why not make it nicer by topping it off with a smooth cigarette.

-Waiting for a bus or train? Why not pass the time with a cigarette.

-Enjoying a beer? Why not double your enjoyment by sparking up a cigarette.

-Just had sex? Why not have a cigarette to help you relax even more.

-Hungry and can't be bothered eating? Why not push aside that appetite with a snacky cigarette.

-Just woken up? Why not have a cigarette with your coffee.

-Sick with the flu? Why not have a few cigarettes to help loosen that phlegm.
 

Cigarettes have more positives than just making life easier. They are the most versatile product available, and can fit any social situation or part of the day or any challenge that may be thrown at you.

-Looking cool in your leather jacket? Why not add a fashionable cigarette.

-God a new sexy haircut? Why not have a cigarette while you play with your hair.

-Got wedding jitters? A cigarette will help them go away.

-Watching characters smoke in a Tarantino film? Why not join them.

-Reading a good book on the beach with a cocktail? Add a cigarette.

-Losing those extra pounds you cannot drop by dieting and exercising? Add cigarettes to your diet.

-Can't go to the toilet coz it's a little backed up? Get things moving with a cigarette.

-Work stressing you out? Head out of the office for some air, and a cigarette.

-Nervous before that big job interview or that hot date? Let the nerves loosen up with a cigarette. 

Cigarette companies are struggling in these tough times as governments tax the humble cigarette into an unaffordable oblivion and smokers have to ration their smokes. No advertising and warnings strewn all over the packets, along with the outlaw of the 'mild scale' makes it even harder for young people curious about the life-simplifying-effects to opt into smoking. 

I don't work for a cigarette company nor do I endorse any particular brand of cigarettes, I am just a loyal smoker who feels marginalised by society these days and this is my little way of getting more people to smoke. Now if you'll excuse me I must head out for a cigarette to calm my nerves before I go to the doctor's office to receive my test results. Fingers crossed I can smoke in hospital.
 

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