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Self esteem day time to take control

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Contributor:
Rosie Bowie
Rosie Bowie

Many of you may not have noticed that June 26 is self esteem day and you may also wonder what that has to do with dating in New Zealand.

In fact, the "Day" has spread to 140 countries and is designed to spread self belief and confidence by creating awareness and action to enhance our healthy self confidence.

When it comes to dating matters, there is little more important than self confidence, particularly for those of us who may be retiring or shy when it comes to dating.

The reality is, however, that almost all of us at some time or other, regardless of our outward confidence, can be said to have been challenged by low self esteem and needed to pick ourselves up from reversals.

Among the characteristics of low self esteem are a lack of awareness of what we're good at (we're all good at something, after all), setting unrealistic goals - or, much worse - no goals, blaming others, an inability to express yourself properly, being afraid to take action or take on something new and challenging and simply thinking negatively.

These are all traits that can be countered by developing confidence and 'taking control'.

We can focus on the positive, for instance, and develop and take confidence from what we do properly. Similarly, we can start setting out goals and objectives and take responsibility for ourselves, rather than blaming others when things go wrong or don't work out quite the way we would like.

Most importantly, we all have control of how we react and talk. If we're positive and talk and walk confidently then it affects our own feelings and the reactions of those around us. Nothing could be more important in a dating context than being positive and cheerful. It doesn't mean being that pain in the backside 'knowall' type, but rather radiating positivity. Likes, attract, remember. If you first like yourself and who you are you will be far better able to accomplish success in the dating scene by attracting those who also like you. 

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