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Swine Flu: Mask or Condom?

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Contributor:
Dallas Boyd
Dallas Boyd

"Go figure... seven people get the Swine Flu and everybody wants to wear a mask. A million people have HIV/AIDS and no one wants to wear a condom." 

Discuss.
 
Let’s not get hung up on numbers. Yes, I realise that more than seven people have contracted swine flu and about 145 people have died. But I also realize that there are more than one million people with HIV. In fact, it's more like 33 million. In 2007 alone, there were more than 2 million HIV-related deaths.
 
Does this make you want to slip some condoms into the shopping trolley? It should. You can slide them in right next to the facemasks, Protex, Purell, and Panadol.  
 
Facemasks are worn out in the big wide world because we fear the unknown. But I bet they’re not worn around family and friends. Condoms are different. Most people share body fluids with someone they like, or at the very least, someone who’s really, really hot. In this case the problem isn’t stranger danger and mysterious invisible germs in the air - the threat comes from people you love and trust. (And the problem has added complications  if you're horny or drunk). 
 
Considering the amount of trust we place in our lovers (or special “friends”) maybe this is why World Population Monitoring 2002 found the worldwide average of condom use to be only 5% (between couples) and 8% among the rest of us. Condom use has been increasing in New Zealand and we are lucky enough to have good education and health care clinics available (for those smart enough to use them). 
 
People are concerned Swine Flu can spread rapidly as people travel around the world. Face-masks are sold in airport gift shops - (not that I’ve ever even seen an air hostess wear one, who you‘d think would be at a much greater risk of contracting and transmitting the virus.) New Zealanders are an intrepid bunch. Tell me, have you ever gone overseas and got laid? (If not, you should do so). But wear a condom. 
 
The world is a funny place. Catholic Church hot shots argue that condoms cannot protect against HIV/AIDS.
Quarantine emergency supplies are sold like re-hashed Y2K efforts. Google “Swine” with “Condoms” and you’ll find a bunch of people asking the same questions I am. The Pope would not be impressed. (But I’d like to know if he advocates face-masks). Maybe the answer lies in bondage - wear a condom AND a mask. (That’s what I’d do). 
 
Some people argue that the world is overpopulated and HIV/AIDS (like so many other problems) is helping to knock our numbers back - the lucky bonus being that it’s mainly wiping out good-for-nothing people from those pesky third world countries. Conspiracy theories believe this virus has been purposely engineered to wipe out undesirable elements of society... Maybe face-masks are a sign we’re concerned about the effect the Swine Flu pandemic might have on the desirable elements of society too. God forbid something should ever happen to us. 
 
Whatever way you look at it (and there are plenty) keep in mind the words of my good friend Mr. M Luther King (Jr) who said “nothing in this world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”
 
Think about it. 
 
 
 

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