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Tips to combat the 'man drought'

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Contributor:
Rosie Bowie
Rosie Bowie

A recent story about the "man drought", based on the statistic shortage of men in some areas, lead me to consider some thoughts about how those involved in New Zealand dating can combat this "drought".

As a matchmaker, I wanted to try and shed some light on the issue and place it into a dating context.

First, women need to know who (or what) they are looking for in a man. While the story about the population trends and demographics may create an appearance of having to take what is on offer the reality is that women can still “pick and choose” within reason and depending upon a range of factors like their location, age, profession and so forth.

But if they – i.e. “you” – truly know what you want in terms of a relationship and your own life then you will approach dating and relationships with a greater confidence and ‘vision’ as well as a greater rate of success.

Second, a ‘man drought’ implies this is all just a numbers game. It’s not. The number of dates you have is not dependent upon the male-to-female quotient. It’s about meeting people with whom relationships can be developed. That involves a whole bunch of considerations beyond the issue of regional demographics. If it was purely numbers, women would be flocking to Kalgoorlie or the Gulf oilfields. It’s not. It’s about building sustainable, successful relationships.

Third, women need to reinvent their ability to connect with who they truly are and thus create something men truly want. That may sound trite, but too many women in my experience, simply create barriers through everything from their career success to their expectations. There is still a need for a self confident flirtatiousness without being cheap or tawdry. Men are attracted to bright, self assured women who are also feminine and therefore attractive to them.

It may not be rocket science. But nor is it demographics and population stats.

Rosie Bowie is a professional matchmaker who operates New Zealand’s leading matchmaking and New Zealand personal introductions and dating agency at Matchcompany.co.nz.

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