Many New Zealanders, at some point in their life at least, will be possessed by an “Incurable Wanderlust.” You can argue the urge to travel is in our D.N.A. or others might say it’s simply because NZ doesn’t quite cut the cheese (on the grand scale of things).

As happy as I am, trailblazing into the future from my humble little office in Costa Rica… I’m still one homesick Kiwi. 

Top 10 Best Things About NZ

10) Winter

An Endless Summer sounds like an awesome idea… up until about the point when you decide it’s too (your favourite curse word) hot. Year-round hot weather is ideal for various annoying species, such as ants - every kind of ant - household ones to the painful bitey type - and mosquitoes. It doesn’t matter how cold New Zealand winters can be, warming up in front of a fire or jumping into bed with a pair of woolly socks and a hot water bottle will always be infinitely more luxurious than sweating like a rapist 24/7.

9) You don’t need a tan

When Latin American women are lying on the beach in their g-string bikinis, rubbing oil into their butt cheeks, I feel out of place. This is generally because I am lurking under a shady tree, as my pasty skin radiates white light like a glow-worm.

8) The Warehouse

I can go to the local supermarket here and buy a pewter candle extinguisher. But I can’t buy an egg beater. Go figure.

7) Fish and Chips

If I could teleport myself to and from New Zealand at will, top destinations would include: Stopping by Mum’s to gaze vaguely into her fridge. Lounging on the couch at my brother’s, flicking through the Sky channels until he kicks me out. Watching “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?” with Dad. And Fish n Chip shops. Oscars Burger Bar. Terry’s Takeaways. The Golden Grill. I don`t care what you say, those stores are national treasures.

6) We Don’t Try to Bring Sexy Back

For some reason here (perhaps due to the crippling heat) “less is more” in the clothing department. Summer staples in New Zealand generally consist of the trusty stubbies (not too tight - slightly puffy), singlet, and jandals combo. Perhaps due to some sort of fashion trend which I don’t understand, women here go to great lengths to squeeze their… er… curves… into hot pants at least two sizes too small, resulting in more muffin tops and camel toes than an Egyptian bakery. And judging by the constant denim wedgies these girls sport, I would imagine, possibly more sweaty yeast infections too?

5) Rashes are still laughing matters

In New Zealand, rashes are hilarious, because we don’t get them. If you live in the tropics, you will get a rash. Or a fungus. Or both. I have now been privy to several mysterious “heat rashes” (FYI  - above the waist) and I think it’s probably more fun to laugh at somebody else’s itchy rash, than to have your own.

4) There’s usually not much going on in your gumboot

Having grown up on a farm in NZ, I never really had any qualms about sticking my foot into a boot without shaking it out first. At worst you’ll find a daddy-long legs or (my personal gumboot fear) a snail. These days all my shoes require very hearty shakes before I stick my big hoof inside - last check my gumboot was fill of lizards and a dead frog.

3) Day Light Savings

Back to the flawless Endless Summer idea - the closer you get to the equator, the warmer the days may be, but they are also shorter and there is no twilight or evening sun. Therefore, the sun sets at about 6:30 p.m. every night and that’s it. Not a lot of time to go surfing after work, have a BBQ on the beach, or play outdoor sports into the evening. Boooring!

2) Social Soccer means Social Soccer

In New Zealand, my social soccer team consisted of me running around in a Hooters t-shirt (our team wore orange) trying to look like I knew what I was doing. Upon making an ill-informed decision to join a social team in Costa Rica, it quickly became apparent that Latin Americans actually do take soccer very seriously. This was evident when I turned up to my second “practice” to find out that people were actually paying money to see us play in a stadium. Being the only white girl in the team, who didn’t speak Spanish, or even know the rules, this was not an ideal situation for me to be in... The "social" team was disappointingly nothing like my half-baked days playing for the “Clockwork Orange.”

1) My Family and Friends!

Bollocks aside, I am homesick for you guys most of all.

 "Incurable Wanderlust" - Peter Bostock

“I say, go out, to the young and the young in heart. See the world. Only then think about settling down. Damn convention. To hell with routine. You will be richer for the experience. Your children will be richer for the retelling of it, and, above all, you will know something of the truths of mankind..."