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Top 10 Workplace Songs for Managers

Contributor:
Dave Griffith
Dave Griffith
Frank Sinatra

The Beatles, Elton John and Queen are all there in the list of top 10 favourite management anthems.

10: Yesterday – The Beatles

Often sung as a lament by Neanderthal managers whose Stone Age management style has brought an expensive personal grievance down on their head because they insulted a female staff member.

"Why she had to go I don't know she didn't say. I said something wrong now I long for yesterday".

9: Whip It – Devo

Classic management anthem often heard being sung in 'house bars' late at night during 'conferences'. Psychologists suggest this is an outlet for managers' basic fantasies of domination, control and dehumanising of the workers. Employment law doesn't allow them to do it in real life.

"Now whip it into shape
shape it up get straight
go forward move ahead
try to detect it it's not too late
to whip it whip it good"

8: Circle of Life – Elton John

Lovely Lion King moment. Usually played by neo-fascist Human Resource managers to restructured staff to help them put the imminent demise of their careers into perspective.

 

"Some of us fall by the wayside

And some of us soar to the stars

And some of us sail through our troubles

And some have to live with the scars.....it's the circle of life" 

 

7: Help – The Beatles

 

The mid-life crisis song for managers. Desperate to get something done in a hurray and incapable of practical action themselves they sing this song, hoping someone will answer.

"When I was younger, so much younger than today

I never needed anybody's help in any way

But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured"

 

6: Another One Bites the Dust – Queen

 

A taunting duet sung by line managers and neo-fascist HR managers following disciplinary action, 'voluntary' resignations and restructuring of workers. When the 'red mist' comes down and they smell  blood, nothing gets in the way.   

 

"Another one bites the dust

 And another one gone,

and another one gone 

Another one bites the dust 

Hey, I'm gonna get you too 

Another one bites the dust"

5: Every Breath You Take – The Police

 

 A hauntingly bleak number designed to starve the workers of fun at work by attempting to portray  managers as omnipresent observation units with an eye for workers up to no good.    

 

  "Every single day
 Every word you say
 Every game you play
 Every night you stay
 I'll be watching you"

4: Bridge Over Troubled water – Simon and Garfunkel

Every big organisation has a touchy feely manager who cares deeply about their staffs feelings.  

"When you're weary, feeling small
When tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all
I'm on your side, when times get rough
and friends just can't be found"

3: Do Ya Think I'm Sexy – Rod Stewart

Most workplaces have a manager that spends a lot of time on personal grooming and ego enlargement. There is strong anecdotal evidence that this is the favourite song they sing to themselves while looking in the mirror.

"If you want my body and you think I'm sexy
Come on, sugar, let me know
If you really need me just reach out and touch me
Come on, honey, tell me so"

2: I Believe I can fly – R. Kelly

Some managers are so full of themselves they really do believe that so great are their growing powers that flying is just around the corner.

"I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day"

1: My Way – Frank Sinatra

A favourite at management farewells, for those with delusions of individual brilliance. Usually the only regrets they have are along the lines of not getting headhunted sooner, having to make do with a 4 cylinder freebee car, and not having sacked the IT Manager.

"Regrets, Ive had a few;
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.
I planned each charted course;
Each careful step along the byway,
But more, much more than this,
I did it my way". 

 

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