The differences between men and women are fairly well documented. However, despite this men continue to make mistakes. We thought we'd add a few observations of our own in an effort to enlighten you.
- There is such a thing as being overly polite/chivalrous. It's good when you open the door for your date; not so good when you literally force them to take your jacket because YOU feel cold, or feel that we look cold... despite the fact that it's the middle of summer. Trust me if I want your jacket I will take the god damn thing, I don't need you to force it on me. I'm quite capable of telling the temperature of my own body. Capesh?
- Next up. Smiley faces, faces of any kind for that matter over txt. Don't do it. I don't need to know if you're smiling, winking, poking your tongue out or making a sad face while txting. If i haven't picked up your mood from the tone of your txt, then you've already failed. No pathetic little face at the end of your txt will redeem you. It will only add to your doucheness ;).
- Lifting me up to demonstrate your caveman like strength is not a turn on. It does infact make you seem like a neanderthal. I am quite capable of using my own legs to get from A to B...I've been doing it my entire life. On the rare occasion that I do need picking up, due to being in a heavily intoxicated state, you will know...trust me.
- Guys if you get a girlfriend, don't act like a whipped little bitch. Keep your friends. They were there before your girlfriend and they will be the ones to pick up the pieces when it inevitably ends..which it will. Prepare. FYI: independence is sexy.
- When it comes to 'the kiss', by the time we get to the driveway, if it hasn't happened it's already too late. Avoid the end of the night cliche and make a bold move during the course of the actual 'date'. You will pick up bonus points here.
- Nicknames. 'Hun', 'sweet', 'babe', 'baby'...insert pet name here. Not only are these incredibly generic terms, lacking any form of creativity or personal relevance, they are most often condescending. I have a name, use it. Your other option; come up with a nickname that has some connection to a shared experience.
- 'Shorty'. This deserves a line all of its own as well as a short sharp punch in the face for the offender. The only exception in using this term being; if you are a big black american gangster and have the street cred to convincingly pull it off...kiwi boys (from all walks of life) take note.
- Spooning/cuddling for long periods of time. Despite popular opinion not all women are big fans of this. Although as many of you guys have proclaimed and I quote "But doesn't it make you feel safe and secure". Buddy, this may make YOU feel like you've just come home from a tough day hunting and gathering, ready to fend off potential attackers, but sometimes we don't want to be caught up in your heroic/tough guy fantasies. Chances are after a while it's going to get hot and uncomfortable...and the desire to be 'safe and secure' will be outweighed by that of a want for personal space.
- To surmise, If you want to be a gentleman, then buy me a stiff drink. It involves little thought and will be much appreciated.
Comments
"However, despite this men
"However, despite this men continue to make mistakes"
once again women fail to see that they too are making mistakes
why don't women tell their husband/boyfriend what they are doing wrong rather than writing articles on the internet, or trying to get it through telepathically (which women seem to think they are very good at)
if you're not telling your man what he is doing wrong, then you are also doing something wrong - not being open enough about your feelings, and isn't that something that women have complained about? men not being open enough about their feelings?
just tell him what he's doing wrong, and he will try to adapt for you
I’m sorry did we
I’m sorry did we accidentally post this under an ‘Ask Aunt Betty’ advice column?
This is an opinion based blog. Of course we are going to sound one sided because that is the style of writing we are producing.
We are aware that we women can also make mistakes. However, despite that, you for some reason seem to think this is us giving an in-depth analysis, that is not the case.
So yes, we do actually have adult conversations with our partners, but that wouldn’t make for very entertaining reading now would it? In fact it would sound quite bland.
If we produced a piece that had both sides then it would be more of a researched based essay. Probably consisting of a couple thousand words with us delving into the inner psyche of relationships and interactions between the two sexes. Hell, we may even throw in a few quotes from Freud, just to back up our vast research. However, this is (and we think quite obviously) NOT the style of the piece. It is merely two people taking a small snippet of their experiences with the opposite sex and having a wee rant on the subject, Predominantly to entertain ourselves and other like minded people.
Disclaimer: Above piece should not be taken 100 percent seriously. Grain of salt may work well here.
We are not here to write an instruction manual on how to live one's life, so no need to get so indignant about it.
wow damn u guys seem to
wow damn u guys seem to amaze more and more yes men make lots of mistakes and so do weman but see theres no 100% way to know what weman or men want because weman dont understand men as much as men dont understand weman so yah and how we pick up on some one i dont know but i do know u have to have shitt in commen and yes we r all indapendent but we all some times thrive for that cherishment that cling part but just have to know when and u learn from expirence try new ways i guess im trying to say every one is different and alot the same so it just depends on the person...
Firstly, it's WOMEN not; and
Firstly, it's WOMEN not; and I quote "WEMAN". Secondly, This is a full stop (.), and this my friend is a comma (,). They may come in handy the next time you attempt to comment. To reiterate, the above blog is intended to be satirical in tone. This would suggest that we are well aware of the reasons behind and for these differences. In the course of deciphering your comment, I imagine this is what you were trying to communicate.
Although you make a point that both Men and Women need to work at their understanding of one another, that is not the point we are making.
Again to reiterate : read with grain of salt.
Holy shit I'm on a roll, the
Holy shit I'm on a roll, the terrible opinion pieces just keep coming. You guys are gonna have a hard time fending off all my ingenious arguments.
Let us begin, you fail at satire.
Because it's cool to quote from the dictionary:
sat⋅ire
/ˈsætaɪər/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [sat-ahyuhr] Show IPA
–noun
1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.
2. a literary composition, in verse or prose, in which human folly and vice are held up to scorn, derision, or ridicule.
3. a literary genre comprising such compositions.
I would argue (because I love to argue) that the (obviously misplaced in your case) desire of your partners to protect and care for you represents not a vice or a folly but a genuinely good characteristic of men. I would say that cuz I'm a man. So unless this is some double nested satire piece in which you highlight the human folly of being a whiny bitch that can't just enjoy a thing for its good qualities then you fail.
Also grammar nazis are cool on the internets c/d?
Manfully awaiting your reply
Alex
I like smiley faces, being
I like smiley faces, being picked up, having a whipped guy for the first few weeks, a kiss to conclude a night, and cuddling for long periods of time. I hope men don't take all of this article and apply it to all women.