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What Now Has Eyes But Cannot See?

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Contributor:
Paul Taylor
Paul Taylor

I saw this on TV not so long ago, you know, on one of those morning shows that likes to show us all sorts of cool new products for us to waste money on. But this one here, truly takes the cake for most ridiculous idea ever.

They are called Car Lashes and they are fake eyelashes for you car. For you car's head lights. To make it look as if your car's headlights are actually eyes. And these eyes, with this product, make the car look all pretty and dolled up and ready for a big night on the town.

Now, I know the ladies like to go out and get eyelash extensions or put stuff of their lashes to make them look bigger or whatever and that's fine, but we've all seen those out there to go to the enth degree and look like total whores. And then we pity them in their failed attempt to be pretty.

A car, on the other hand, doesn't need to be dolled up for anything. It's not going out to pick up some guy in a bar, it's not going out to a job interview or on a date, and I'm pretty sure the car doesn't even know it's a car. The car owner is, however, seemingly unaware of this. Don't little girls dress up dollies and put make up on them and stuff? Well, these women are doing the exact same thing by dolling up their cars, almost as if they haven't grown up at all.

The practical use of eye lashes is to keep dust out of our eyes and when we close our eyes the lashes form to protect the eyes from dust and dirt penetrating the lids. Car's don't really have thing problem because they had plastic covers over the headlights, which I might remind you, are not eyes, and even if they were eyes, they'd be robotic so there would be no need for lashes. Some cars have wipers on the headlights which would work a treat if the robotic eyes did work because that would do a better job than the lashes. And, the lashes on the car, if you check out the website http://www.carlashes.com/index.html are only on the top of the headlight, so are pretty useless when it comes to blinking, if this idea was to be anywhere near practical they should really put lashes on the bottom of the headlight too. Then manufacture some sort of opening and closing device over the headlight with the lashes attached to lights could actually blink. Driving in the dark may prove difficult, though, with lights constantly going on and off.

Anyway, back to the cosmetic nature. Lots of cars these days have headlights and fog lamps, or driving lights. You know, the smaller lights below the bigger lights. What's going to happen next? Lashes for those little lamps too? The front of the car will end up looking like the face of a spider with all those eyes!

Oh yeah, and guess where this genius idea originated? Yup. USA. The land of opportunity where even you have the opportunity to create the most useless and wasteful product ever and sell it to morons who think their eyelashes will never be big enough so they thrust their desires onto inanimate objects just to fill a void within themselves, probably created by spending money on useless things. It's a terrible spiral.

My Suggestion if you see a car driving around with lashes on it's headlights, Run into them head on.

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