Whenever I describe a short and plumpish woman with nostrils like a snout and begging eyes like an abandoned dog as a pigdog, I keep getting told that the term “pigdog” is cruel. I don't quite get it. When I say plumpish I mean size 16 plus and when I say snout I mean snout. And, when I say begging eyes like an abandoned dog I mean desperate. Desperate for a man's attention. Those characteristics make a pigdog.

I've been unfortunate enough to meet a few pigdogs in recent times and to be quite frank, they all look like a pig bred with a dog. But, the thing is, the term pigdog doesn't just describe appearances. No, it describes personality too. A majority of pigdog women are single middle-aged women who constantly complain about the arduous search for a man. The pigdog looks like a pig bred with a dog but somehow thinks she deserves stud as a man. A stallion perhaps. But the question is; why would a man of stallion quality want to lower himself to the pigdog level? We all know that people of the same level of attractiveness seek a partner with a similar amount of attractiveness which means the pigdogs are unequivocally duped.

Pigdogs come in all ages but in the same shape and size and with the same characteristics. Kids these days are putting on the pounds as they sit in front of the computer while they munch on chips as they chat to their friends via instant messaging programs. A child pigdog can now be called a pigletpuppy. Sure, they may not want a stallion man because their too young, but they do want to look less like their pigdog mother, so they dress in tight fitting clothes which accentuates their flabby chubs and although they may try, they can never hide the dominant snout-nose gene that has been passed down to them, along with the wide desperate eyes.

When people say to me that pigdog is a cruel term, I feel like asking them what they would prefer. Hamwhiskers? Pinkroadkill? Baconflea? Maybe even swinemutt? I do like swinemutt. Imagine saying to someone that their friend isn't a pigdog, but more of a swinemutt.

So, let me rephrase this. I've been unfortunate enough to meet a few swinemutts in recent times. One swinemutt who looks like a swine bred with a mutt thinks she deserves a stud/stallion of a man. No man would ever touch such an abhorrent creature of a woman.

There are those who think every person looks like an animal. Cleopatra had cat eyes because the Egyptians emulated their cat Gods in every way. Cleopatra looked like a wetgreasypussy what with her deep black hair that looked wet and greasy and her eyes that were shaped like an infant cat's eyes with make-up. Marlon Brando looks like a boxer with those cheeks

Anyway, the point is, piggydoggies, you can't not look like a pigdog even if you try. Maybe you can try to alter your personality and lower your mating expectations to lessen the swinemutt aspect of your appearance and personality, but you'll never get rid of that pigdog look. And we all know you look like pinkroadkill no matter what you wear or how much make up you trowel on your unfortunate features.