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Why dating in your 20's changes

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Dallas Boyd
Dallas Boyd

Something shocking happened.

I was laying by the pool in my purple bikini. Stuffing my face with pizza and slurping beer. I may or may not have been a little drunk. I also had a grazed knee from trying to do a sweet trick in the pool and a stick-on bubble gum tattoo of the Cookie Monster on my hip. Pretty much, the epitome of a young mature professional having a nice relaxing Sunday Funday. Right?

Then came the shocking part.

My handsome poolside companion looked at me with his big brown possum eyes. “Don’t you ever think about having kids?” he asked, gazing wistfully at a young family playing with their toddlers in the paddling pool. “That could be us in a few years…” he said, with big doe eyes.

I stopped slouching in my chair and shot laser glances between Possum Eyes and the young family and realized - dating guys would never again be the same. This grown-up revelation caused my Cookie Monster tattoo to fade a little and the sky became a little less sunny. The men I meet from now on… they may want to actually consider impregnating me one day. On purpose.  

During High School, a general lack of interest in getting crunk and going out with a different guy every week based on how pimp his car was, led me to being a bit of a late bloomer in the social circles. I really couldn’t give a toss. Eight years on and many of my classmates have already reproduced. Intentionally. More than once. I can no longer log into Facebook without seeing that weird scary application showing the progress in growth of someone’s foetus. Some people have even made legally binding vows of fidelity to another person. In front of God. I am fascinated. How did they find their soul mates so easily? So quickly? And in the same zip code? I always assumed you had to go on some sort of quest to find your soul mate. Travel the world, get heartbroken a few times, have an identity crisis, and like in all real romances, one day when you’re not looking, you find a great love that shakes the very foundations of your soul, even if it lasts less than a lifetime. For those my age who are now settled down with that one great love, I am curious about how that quest went for them. Or am I being ridiculous?

Having recently shared a birthday with Possum Eyes and getting into the deeper end of the 20’s, I had Freak Out Moment # 2. Sharing a birthday cake, while the party guests looked on, somehow, someway, the situation ended up resembling a cutting of the wedding cake ceremony. There was even a chant of “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” Which I felt had nothing to do with me being the Birthday Girl. I wasn’t the only one who noticed the weird cross-over of ideas and my friends had a hearty good laugh at my expense. Possum Eyes appeared non-threatened.

Apparently there’s this inherent code of shit you’re supposed to achieve before you turn 30 and everyone gives themselves secret little deadlines. Not that I’m opposed to any of this settling down and growing up business, but if it’s not on your immediate List of Things to Do, you can’t help but be slightly intrigued by these rites of passage, as with all foreign ideas.

No harm in getting older though. All that extra experience and wisdom I’m accumulating will be a nice gift for me to share with a husband or a family someday in the future right?… Key word = Future.

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