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Adenoidal Airheads And Precious Ponces

Fuseworks Media
Fuseworks Media
Lindsay Perigo
Lindsay Perigo

It's hard to know who's more girlie in the matter of Air New Zealand's removal of a scene from its in-flight safety video: the precious poofs who complained about the scene or Air New Zealand for submitting to them, says SOLO Principal Lindsay Perigo.

The offending scene depicts coy and cute All Black Richard Kahui declining an opportunity to peck the cheek of gay Air New Zealand flight attendant, the admirably named Will Coxhead.

Among the complaints was a suggestion from some deeply stupid professor that the video could lead to gay male suicides.

"Anyone, including deeply stupid professors, so devoid of humour as to take offence at this scene should commit suicide, as a favour to himself and the rest of us," says Perigo.

"These fun-fascist Thought Police rule the world, thanks in part to the effete acquiescence of corporate blouses such as Air New Zealand.

"Until the precious poofs did their shrieking, the video, Crazy About Rugby, starring several of the tastiest All Black hunks, with coach Grumpy Graham and captain Raunchy Richie in the cockpit, had been a phenomenal success, spoiled only by the adenoidal airhead from Eeee New Zullin itself who introduces the thingthe days when being a female flight attendant meant glamour have truly gone now that Eeee New Zullin encourages quacking rather than speech.

"To his great credit, the admirably named Mr. Coxhead himself has not forgotten that to be gay is to be ... well, gay. 'I'm absolutely gutted that a couple of people in the gay community have ruined this for everyone else. ... Obviously there are some people in the gay community that can be a little precious and need to lighten up,' he has said.

"Air New Zealand should get some balls and tell the poncy professors and professional ponces to sod off," Perigo concludes.

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