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Bitches in the White House

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Contributor:
Dallas Boyd
Dallas Boyd

 After spending two weeks working in a remote Costa Rican fishing village in late 2007, it made a nice (and drastic) change to check into a fairly plush hotel, high in the mercifully cool mountains. Flicking through the cable channels, trying to find something on TV to watch in English, I stumbled across a North American news channel.

“Good!” I thought, settling back into my rocking chair. “I need to catch up on my current events!” I crossed by legs and put on my most serious listening-to-the-news face.

And there was indeed some serious news to report, and I thank the hardworking reporters and George W. Bush for bringing the "Barney Cam" to my attention. Barney - the Scottish Terrier dog who lived in the White House with Mr. Bush - had recorded groundbreaking never-been-seen-before footage of the space a foot or so above the White House floors, as he ran around with a camera attached to him, wearing a little bandana. 
My memory is fuzzy, but I believe this was something in the spirit of the dog’s attempt to become an American park ranger. Even British Prime Minister Tony Blair took time out of his busy schedule to comment on this leading journalism by congratulating the dog and saying, “Isn’t it great to see a Scott in the news?!” This evocative coverage lasted quite a while. After it finished there was a brief mention of something to do with some soldiers being killed or something, but HOW ABOUT THAT BARNEY FOLKS!
 
I was in awe. Not the good kind of awe, like when I see a monkey sniffing it’s finger in the wild for the first time, but the bad kind of awe, like when I find out someone I know is working from 10 p.m. till 6 a.m., 7 days a week, for only $8 a day ($1 an hour), to help support her family, while still trying to keep up with her studies. 
 
So now everybody is fluffing about over the new “Presidential Pooch”, the Obama’s Portuguese puppy “Bo.” (And isn’t is great to see a Portuguese in the news?) Hot off the press is the question, “Did President Obama keep or beak a campaign promise in picking the purebred as the family’s new pet? Wayne Pacelle, chief executive of the Humane Society of the United States, stated that this dog is only “quasi-rescued.” Shame on you Mr. Obama! Despite claims that this dog was actually given to the Obama family as a gift, there are already a number of conspiracy theory’s circulating as to the details. 
 
Oh, and some Somali pirates are currently demanding one million dollars ($1.8 million NZ) ransom in return for some aid workers they have taken hostage...
 
BUT WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE INFORMATION ABOUT BARNEY THE DOG AFTER THIS BREAK!
VIEW THE DOG'S ONLINE WEBSITE, READ HIS BIOGRAPHY, VIEW PHOTOS AND MORE AT: http://georgewbush-whitehouse.archives.gov/barney/ 

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