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The Death Of Incompetence. Thank You, Barack Obama

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Contributor:
Paul Taylor
Paul Taylor
President Barack Obama

That's it. It's all over. No more laughs. Bush's eight years of incompetent presidency offered so much entertainment and hilarious gaffs but now it's all over. Barack Obama is too competent, too serious and is too smart to laugh at. Serious street, here we come.

Or is that really the case? In this low-brow blog, I'll attempt to make Obama's comedy free inauguration speech somewhat entertaining with a little help from our old mate, ebonics.

The opening line “My fellow citizens: I stand here today humbled by the task before us”

shall now be known as

“My fellow citizens: I stand here taday humbled by da task 'bfoe us otay, buh-weet”.

“I thank President Bush for his service to our nation...”

is now

“I thank Prez Bush fo' his service ta our nation and sh*t”

“Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life”

equals

“Time an' ag'in deez gangstas an' biatchez struggled an' sacrificed an' worked an' sh*t till they hands wuz raw so dat we's might live uh bettah life, all ye damn hood ratz”

“And for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that, "Our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken. You cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you."

has officially now been changed to

“An' fo' them who seek ta advance they aims by inducing terror an' slaughtering innocents people, we say ta ya now dat “Our spirit iz strongah an' cants be broken. Ya cants outlast us, an' wes'll defeat ya”, what the f*ck sup now ho?”

And the final line “And God bless the United States of America”

is now

“An' God bless da United States o' America ya know das right”

The whole speech was rather long and delivered with a confidence that has been lacking in the Oval Office for the past eight years. Obama's presidency will surely be a turning point in history and The White House will never be the same since Barack installed a basketball court. One thing George Bush did that annoyed me, was play golf, so it is good to see a real sport being played by the president.

But still, George Bush, you will be sorely missed.

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