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End The Torture, Let The World Cup Begin

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One day to go until The Very Very Important FIFA World Cup 2010 kicks off in Suth Arfreeka and it can't come quick enough. Not so much for the actual football. More so to put an end to the daily torture of looking for a news story interesting enough to not make me want to stick a vuvuzela in my eye socket. For those of you with better ways to pass your day, I'll give you a quick rundown of what I've learnt in the media over the last week.

Wayne Rooney swears alot. Ryan Nelsen has slight ear infection, but rest easy Kiwis, he'll be ok. Fabio Capello stares angrily at players. Player X from Team Y was injured while trying to Z. Fabio Capello is annoyed with photographers. Herbert trains the All Whites quite hard. Spain are rather good. New Zealand are punching above their weight. England are not going to win. England are going to win. Inconsiderate South Africans cook dinner during NZ training session. Fabio Capello rages at tenacious orange pith. And Shane Jones travels alot. Alone.

It's my own fault I suppose. I'm excited and like to keep on top of developments. There've just not been that many developments. In fact, there's been far more happening at a personal level. Let's see. I've filled in a World Cup Predictor in an Excel spreadsheet - I have Spain beating Brazil in the final, which is all well and good until you factor in shock results, penalty shootouts, corrupt referees or the French. I've been down the TAB for a small wager on Germany to win the cup at $15. Good odds I thought. And another little wager on the US beating England at $8. Could easily happen. And just one more on the All Whites beating Slovakia. Bit of a blunder that one, don't know what I was thinking.

It does't end there. After searching the web for a wallchart with NZ kick offs It ended up making my own Kiwi-Friendly Wallchart (which is free to download here). My mum says she's very proud. I've organised a sweepstake. I drew Spain, which is kind of awkward. I've explained the World Cup to my five-year-old son. About 10 times. He keeps asking when Wellington will play England. I've figured out which of my friends give a rats arse about the World Cup and which don't, so that I know who to hang around with over the next month and a half. This isn't as simple as you might think. My Dutch friend has never uttered the word "football" or "shoccer" in all the time I've known him. Now he's walking around like a satsuma discussing the odds of Van Pershie winning the Golden Boot. This is a good development. We will have much to talk about. Our friendship will blossom.

Most importantly, I've had to focus on the logistics of venue. Where the hell am I going to watch the games? Do I cough up for SKY? I thought about it but the boss reminded me I'd promised not to get SKY untill Leeds are back in the Premiership. Freeview? Meh. So, I'm relying on the hospitality of friends and family with SKY or Freeview when the games aren't on TVOne. Hopefully, they won't mind me squatting in their lounge for such epic ties as Greece versus Nigeria and such like.

I think everything is ready now. I am. Lets get on with it. 

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